January 7, 2024
1 Corinthians 7:8-24
“Sanctified Marriage”
Service Overview: Confusion crept its way into the church as to how they should approach marriage in light of coming to faith in Christ. And here, Paul lays out principles to guide the church through the complexities of their relationships now that they have come to faith in Jesus.
Memory Verse for the Week:
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)
Background Insights:
- It is unknown whether Paul was ever married, if his wife left him (perhaps when he became a Christian), or if he was widowed. Some believe he was probably married at one time because marriage was required of Jewish men in positions of leadership among the Jews, as Paul had been before he became a Christian. (Grant R. Osborne, Life Application Bible Commentary: 1 & 2 Corinthians, 94)
- It is difficult for us who are accustomed to the Christian faith to realize the impact that this new doctrine had on the Roman world. Here was a teaching for every person, regardless of race or social status. The church was perhaps the only assembly in the Roman Empire where slaves and freemen, men and women, rich and poor, could fellowship on an equal basis (Gal. 3:28). However, this new equality also brought with it some misunderstandings and problems; and some of these Paul dealt with in 1 Corinthians 7:17–24. (Warren W. Wiersbe, Be Wise, 88)
- It is worth recalling that slavery in ancient Rome did not always resemble the institution we know from the history of the Southern United States in the 1800s. To be sure there were cruel masters, but at times some slaves lived more like the indentured servants of wealthy families in medieval Europe. Others were government officials, teachers, traders, or artists. Unlike slaves in the American South, many were able to buy their own freedom; and many who could, chose not to, preferring instead the security of their patrons to the vagaries of freedom. (Craig L. Blomberg, 1 Corinthians, 194)
- The situation that Paul addresses here must have arisen with some frequency in Corinth and elsewhere in the early church. The spouse who joined the Christian movement would often be perceived as having joined a bizarre sect of people venerating a crucified criminal. It is not hard to imagine that many pagan spouses might have found their Christian spouses’ new religious practices and companions to be embarrassing, or even intolerable. In such cases, Paul says, let the unbeliever go if he or she wishes, for “it is to peace that God has called you” (7:15b). (Richard B. Hays, First Corinthians, 122)
- In the Graeco-Roman world [slavery] was widespread and common. Unlike the transatlantic slave trade, an atrocity that will always be a stain on America’s past, Graeco-Roman slavery was not race based. (Daniel L. Akin, Exalting Jesus in 1 Corinthians, 151)
What counter-cultural truths does God’s Word highlight about marriage here?
- How it’s better to wed than burn with passion.
(vv. 8-9 | Genesis 2:24; Matthew 5:28; 1 Cor. 6:18; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; Hebrews 13:4)
The monstrosity of sexual intercourse outside marriage is that those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union (the sexual) from all the other kinds of union which were intended to go along with it and make up the total union. (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 104)
Sexual sin will damage and often ruin a promising relationship. It stops the development of emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy (Richard and Sharon Phillips, Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, 152)
- How a lifetime is the ideal duration of a marriage.
(vv. 10-11 | Gen. 2:24; Mat. 5:31-32; 19:3-9; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18; 1 Cor. 7:39)
There is a permanence to marriage that we ignore at great peril to ourselves, our families, and our society. (Daniel L. Akin, Exalting Jesus in 1 Corinthians, 142)
What was once not even an option is now standard operating procedure. Retaining the option to “turn off” one’s marital vows has now been in vogue for an entire generation, and we are witnessing its tragic effects on families, children, churches, and society. (Charles R. Swindoll, Insights on 1 & 2 Corinthians, 113)
By referring to Jesus’ teaching on this matter, Paul reaffirms the basic biblical principle of marriage: permanency. (Swindoll, Insights on 1 & 2 Corinthians, 110)
- How marriage serves as a powerful tool for influence and blessing.
(vv. 12-14 | Gen. 30:27; 39:5; Proverbs 18:22; 19:14; 31:10; Ephesians 5:22-33; 1 Peter 3:7)
when a Christian spouse stays with the willing non-Christian partner, the children also benefit. Children raised in a mixed home have greater opportunity to see the love of Christ exhibited in the believing parent’s life than those who must live with the consequences of a broken home. (Swindoll, 112)
Paul is not saying that an unbelieving husband or wife has been made morally holy through his or her Christian spouse. No, man is unable to sanctify or to save a fellow human being. What the apostle means to say is that an unbelieving spouse who lives intimately with a Christian marriage partner experiences the influence of holiness. To be sanctified means that a person is influenced by the claims of Christ. The converse is equally true: anyone who is not sanctified is influenced by the claims of a world that is opposed to Christ. In the Greek, the verb to be sanctified is in the perfect tense, which denotes that from the moment the spouse became a Christian his or her unbelieving partner comes in contact with holiness. (Simon Kistemaker, Exposition, 224–25) (Daniel L. Akin, Exalting Jesus in 1 Corinthians, 143)
- How, regardless one’s status, all are called to bloom where they’re planted.
(vv. 17-24 | Matthew 5:9; John 13:34-35; Romans 12:2; Ephesians 4:32; 1 Peter 4:8)
We are prone to think that a change in circumstances is always the answer to a problem. But the problem is usually within us and not around us. The heart of every problem is the problem in the heart. (Warren Wiersbe, Be Wise, 80) (Daniel L. Akin, Exalting Jesus in 1 Corinthians, 153)
Conclusion… What counter-cultural principles should we consider in light of this?
A. Marriage is a means by which God displays his goodness to the world.
(Ephesians 5; Colossians 3; 1 Peter 3)
[Paul], like Jesus, was concerned primarily with fashioning a countercultural community of disciples who did not directly challenge the state but modeled better lifestyles for a watching world. (Craig L. Blomberg, 1 Corinthians, 195)
B. Your marriage, whatever its makeup, is a living testimony to the world of who Jesus is to you.
(Mat. 5:16; Colossians 3:23-24; 2 Timothy 1:7; James 1:22; 2:18; 2 Peter 1:5-8; 1 John 3:18)
The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the Gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The Gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope. (Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage, 44)
Selfishness is the biggest enemy for your marriage. Your biggest struggle is with the selfishness that tempts and seduces us all. We must all pull this weed again and again, along with all the weeds of destructive words and actions that attach themselves to it. (Daniel L. Akin, Exalting Jesus in 1 Corinthians, 145)
C. Leverage God’s work in you to serve and bless your spouse.
(Mat. 23:11; Mark 9:35; Luke 6:38; John 13:12-14; Acts 20:35; Gal. 5:13-14; 1 Peter 4:10)
Let the wife make her husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave. (Martin Luther)
The man who sanctifies his wife understands that this is his divinely ordained responsibility… Is my wife more like Christ because she is married to me? Or is she like Christ in spite of me? Has she shrunk from His likeness because of me? Do I sanctify her or hold her back? Is she a better woman because she is married to me? (R. Kent Hughes, Disciplines of a Godly Man, 37)
Gospel Connection…
Jesus doesn’t always require us to upend our status to come to him; rather, he uses our status to draw those around us to him.
(Mat. 5:16; 1 Corinthians 9:22; Ephesians 5:8; Colossians 4:6; 1 Peter 2:9; 3:15; 1 John 4:19)
Often we are so concerned about what we could be doing for God somewhere else that we miss great opportunities right where we are. (Grant R. Osborne, 1 & 2 Corinthians, 101)
Because God has called each person from a particular social realm and unique life situation, that person should continue in that same situation. Why? The answer: in order to continue as a light in that particular social sphere (7:16). (Charles R. Swindoll, Insights on 1 & 2 Corinthians, 117)
Spiritual Challenge Questions…
Reflect on these questions in your time with the Lord this week, or discuss with a Christian family member or Life Group.
- Describe a time when you wanted God to change your situation in life but later realized he instead worked in a way, or changed you in a way, that was better than what you wanted.
- Why are freedom, sensitivity, agreement, and exclusivity important biblical principles for sex in marriage? How would your marriage be affected if you were to remove one of these principles?
- Why does obedience to God matter more than one’s social condition?
- In what ways can a Christian leverage their faith in ways to bless and influence an unbelieving spouse?
- How does being a believer change how we view and treat our spouses?
Quotes to note…
Love as distinct from “being in love” is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 99)
[Paul] understood that those who struggled with self-control should not put themselves in the position of enforced celibacy, for Satan would use many temptations right there in the city to bring them down. Instead, Paul said these people should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. This is not a put-down of marriage as being no more than a legitimate way to release sexual pressure; instead, it is tied with the gifts of marriage and singleness that Paul had mentioned in 7:7. (Grant R. Osborne, Life Application Bible Commentary: 1 & 2 Corinthians, 95)
Some—most—are gifted by God for marriage. A strong desire for sex would be an indication of this. Again, God’s design and plan are clear: virginity before marriage and monogamy in marriage; (Daniel L. Akin, Exalting Jesus in 1 Corinthians, 140)
Many people get married with unrealistic expectations about whom they are marrying. Here is the point: you both bring something into your marriage that is destructive to what a marriage needs and must do. That thing is called sin. (Daniel L. Akin, Exalting Jesus in 1 Corinthians, 145)
Christianity was such a tiny institution and slavery such a big one in the ancient Roman empire. Attempts to oppose slavery in more wholesale fashion would have proved so counterproductive as to threaten Christianity’s very existence. But Paul sowed the seeds for a revolutionary alternative in Christ which in time could only but threaten social institutions of oppression. (Craig L. Blomberg, 1 Corinthians, 195)
In sharp contrast with our culture, the Bible teaches that the essence of marriage is a sacrificial commitment to the good of the other. That means that love is more fundamentally action than emotion. But in talking this way, there is a danger of falling into the opposite error that characterized many ancient and traditional societies. It is possible to see marriage as merely a social transaction, a way of doing your duty to family, tribe and society. Traditional societies made the family the ultimate value in life, and so marriage was a mere transaction that helped your family’s interest. By contrast, contemporary Western societies make the individual’s happiness the ultimate value, and so marriage becomes primarily an experience of romantic fulfillment. But the Bible sees GOD as the supreme good – not the individual or the family – and that gives us a view of marriage that intimately unites feelings AND duty, passion AND promise. That is because at the heart of the Biblical idea of marriage is the covenant. (Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage, 83)