Sunday, December 11th, 2011
Romans 12:3-13; 1 Cor 12-14 & Eph 4:11-16
“Power Walk – Part 3: Maturity”
Bible Memory Verse for the Week: This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. — 1 John 3:16
Background Information:
- Some commentators can see in verses 9-16 only a ragbag of miscellaneous instructions, a series of epigrammatic commands with little or no connection with each other. But in fact each staccato imperative adds a fresh ingredient to the apostle’s recipe for love. It seems to have twelve components. (John Stott, Romans, God’s Good News for the World, 330)
- The Greek word agape (love) seems to have been virtually a Christian invention — a new word for a new thing (apart from about twenty occurrences in the Greek version of the OT, it is almost non-existent before the NT). Agape draws its meaning directly from the revelation of God in Christ. It is not a form of natural affection, however, intense, but a supernatural fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22). It is a matter of will rather than feeling (for Christians must love even those they dislike — Mt 5:44-48). It is the basic element in Christ-likeness.
- Agape doesn’t love somebody because they’re worthy. Agape makes them worthy by the strength and power of its love. Agape doesn’t love somebody because they’re beautiful. Agape loves in such a way that it makes them beautiful. (Rob Bell, Sex God, 120)
- Paul declares here, that love is no other but that which is free from all dissimulation: and any one may easily be a witness to himself, whether he has anything in the recesses of his heart which is opposed to love. “Love,” says an old author, “is the sum and substance of all virtues. Philosophers make justice the queen of virtues; but love is the mother of justice, for it renders to God and to our neighbor what is justly due to them.” (John Calvin, Commentary on the Epistle of Paul the Apostle to The Romans, 464)
- The opening sentence contains no verb and might be correctly translated “love (is) sincere” (cf. NIV, Love must be sincere). It may, in other words, be a statement about the nature of love and not merely a summons to love. Again, the word for love, agapē, has the definite article, indicating that Paul is not thinking of love in general, but of the (Christian) love. Finally, the word for sincere in Greek means “without hypocrisy” or “unstaged.” (James R. Edwards, New International Biblical Commentary: Romans, 291)
- Sincere is an English word based on the Latin words sine cera, meaning without wax, and it refers to the ancient practice of using wax to hide cracks in inferior pottery so the vessel could be sold for a higher price than it could be otherwise. Quality ware was stamped sine cera (“without wax”) to show that it had not been doctored. In regard to people, this says that a sincere person is one who is not hiding his true nature by hypocritical words or actions. (James Montgomery Boice, Romans, Vol. 4, The New Humanity, 1591)
The question to be answered is . . . What is the end (telos) or goal of the Apostle Paul’s teaching here in Romans 12?
Answer: By looking at God’s great love and mercy given to us, Paul is trying to get the Christians in Rome (as well as us) to love one another as we understand we are all part of each other in the Body of Christ. It is by obtaining an understanding of God’s great love for us that we are able to more closely replicate the love of Jesus for one another and more closely become the Body of Christ. We can only really love with a sincere love when we realize how much Christ has loved us.
Jesus turns to the world and says, “I’ve got something to say to you. On the basis of my authority, I give you a right: you may judge whether or not an individual is a Christian on the basis of the love he shows to all Christians.” (John 13:33-35) (Francis Schaeffer, The Mark of the Christian, 13)
If I fail in my love toward Christians, it does not prove I am not a Christian. What Jesus is saying, however, is that, if I do not have the love I should have toward all other Christians, the world has the right to make the judgment that I am not a Christian. (Francis Schaeffer; The Mark of the Christian, 13-14)
(Rom 12:9-16) Here the emphasis is on the attitudes of those who exercise the spiritual gifts. It is possible to use a spiritual gift in an unspiritual way. Paul makes this same point in 1 Cor 13, the great “love chapter” of the NT. Love is the circulatory system of the Spiritual Body, which enables all the members to function in a healthy, harmonious way. (Warren W. Wiersbe, Be Right, 142)
The gospel germinated in a social milieu in many respects very similar to today’s. The early Christians faced an establishment fighting for its life. There were widespread injustice, oppression, discrimination.
But those who look for proof texts to justify a picket line, a strike, a boycott or a lay-in are in trouble. These try to solve the ills of society by washing the outside of the cup, as Christ said. A true Christian revolution changes people from within. This is where churches so often go astray. Christ said, only as people are transformed, given a new heart, a new spirit and orientation, will there be a new society. (Ray C. Stedman, Body Life, 20)
There is a direct correlation between the number of times the Bible teaches about a particular issue and our inability to live it. — Steve Brown
The Word for the Day is . . . Mature
What constitutes sincere agape love?:
In the Greek, only the first (Love must be sincere, [v. 9]) is a statement; the remaining nine are expressed using adjective phrases (with gerunds–a gerund being the -ing form of a noun). Paul thus suggests that a “sincere” love is crucial and the other items are all manifestations of this type of love. (Clarence L. Bence, Romans, A Commentary for Bible Students, 203)
The Greek theater had neither background nor scenery nor costumes; the actors carried masks, made with such expressions that the audience could easily see whether the character was tragic, comic or melodramatic. The actor walked about the stage, mask in hand, and occasionally held it before his face. Since this was a commonplace of ancient knowledge, when Paul wrote that love must be without hypocrisy–without acting–the Christian of his day caught the meaning and understood that a believer must not wear a mask; he must be absolutely honest. (Donald Grey Barnhouse, God’s Discipline, 61)
I. To really love we must hate what is evil (Ps 97:10; 101:4; Prv 6:16-19; Amos 5:15; Hab 1:9; Mt 24:12; Lk 6:46; Rom 12:9; 1 Cor 13:6; 2 Cor 6:14-15; Eph 4:17-32; 1 Thess 5:21-22; 1 Tm 6:10; 2 Tm 2:22; 1 Pt 3:10-11; Jude 20-23)
We strengthen our unhypocritical love by not letting it be spoiled by any involvement in evil. If we compromise our principles in any way, our love is made impure. We are to stand firm against even the appearance of evil and not let love be weakened by any contamination. (Marva J. Dawn, Truly the Community: Romans 12, 150)
We must realize that whenever we dabble with evil in the slightest way, our love is spoiled. If we fudge truth just a little in talking to a friend, the relationship is marred. The community is made unclean by the slightest bit of gossip. The smallest trace of games, pretensions, or manipulations in our care for others makes our love less than whole or holy. We want to hate with a perfect hatred all those little jabs that puncture our love. (Marva J. Dawn, Truly the Community: Romans 12, 151)
Regarding one thing we must be clear–what many people hate is not evil, but the consequences of evil. No man is really a good man when he is good simply because he fears the consequences of being bad. As Burns had it:
“The fear o’ Hell’s a hangman’s whip
To haud the wretch in order;
But where ye feel your honor grip,
Let that ay be your border.”
Not to fear the consequences of dishonor, but to love honor passionately is the way to real goodness. (William Barclay, The Daily Study Bible Series: Romans, 164)
Agapē is not a nice or pleasing disposition, and it is not complacent in the face of wrong. It hates evil. The word for evil, ponēros, is the strongest word for evil or wickedness in Greek, and this is its only occurrence in Romans. The Christian response to it must be equally strong. The Greek word apostygein means to “detest” or “abhor.” Whoever does not hate evil does not love good. Refusing to condemn evil in whatever form it takes (though not the people who do it), or tolerating evil for whatever reason when there is within our power the ability to do something about it, is no longer love. The prayer for social justice in the Book of Common Prayer says that love “makes no peace with oppression.” (James R. Edwards, New International Biblical Commentary: Romans, 292)
“God is love” (1 Jn 4:8). That is one of the most sublime statements in the Bible, but God is not only love. He is also hate in the sense that he hates what is evil with a proper, righteous hatred. (James Montgomery Boice, Romans, Vol. 4, The New Humanity, 1592)
The hatred about which Paul writes is hatred of the highest dimension. He uses one of the strongest words for hatred found anywhere in the Bible. The word implies not mild displeasure or mere dislike; Paul is commanding in the name of the Lord that we loathe evil. We are to see evil as an unveiled assault on the character of God and on his sovereignty. (RC Sproul, St. Andrew’s Expositional Commentary: Romans, 422)
I believe that the greatest ethical issue today is that of abortion. In recent years many have come to see terrorism as more concerning than abortion. I am baffled by that, because more people were killed on September 10 in the womb of U.S. women than were killed on 9/11 in New York City. More babies were slaughtered on September 12 than adults were killed on 9/11. If we had a camera on the womb so that CNN could show us graphic videos of what actually happens in the slaughter of unborn children, abortion would be quickly abolished, but the reality of it is covered up. If there is one thing I know about God, it is that he hates abortion. The German ethicist Helmut Thielicke indicated something unusual in his massive mid-twentieth-century work on Christian ethics. The work appeared before Roe v. Wade; that is, before Western civilization had embraced abortion on demand. In his book Thielicke wrote that abortion has always been considered a monolithic evil in Christian thought among both liberals and conservatives. That is clear from the very first century, in the Didache, which called abortion “murder.” Abortion is an unspeakable evil that God abhors, one that the American church tolerates and winks at. That troubles me deeply, and I do not understand it.
As we are to despise what is evil, we are to cling to what is good. (RC Sproul, St. Andrew’s Expositional Commentary: Romans, 422-23)
Genuine hatred of evil engenders avoidance of evil. In his Essay on Man, Alexander Pope wisely observed that,
Vice is a monster of so frightful mien,
As to be hated needs but to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace. (John MacArthur, The MacArthur New Testament Commentary: Romans 9-16, 186)
We must not forget that one of the biblical proofs of the deity of the Lord Jesus is that He knew how to hate. In the first chapter of the epistle to the Hebrews we find a tissue of quotations from the OT, brought together by the Holy Spirit as evidence of Christ’s Godhead. Among these quotations shines one from Psalm 45: “Thy throne, O God, is for ever and ever, thy righteous scepter is the scepter of thy kingdom. Thou has loved righteousness and hated lawlessness; therefore God, thy God, has anointed thee with the oil of gladness beyond thy comrades” (Heb 1:8, 9). Now, thank God that our Lord Jesus Christ has left us the example of His hatred! How He loathed sham, pretense, hypocrisy! How He tore the masks from the faces of the Pharisees and revealed what they really were! They hated Him, for by His penetrating questions He exposed their artifice and deceit, their guile and trickery. Just by standing near them He showed them up. (Donald Grey Barnhouse, God’s Discipline, 62)
A Christian must stand up and be counted wherever there is a moral issue. A Christian must be willing to lose two or three day’s pay and go into court to testify on the side of truth. A Christian must be willing to take the sneers of the world of evil, which hates those who stand for righteousness without regard for the cost. (Donald Grey Barnhouse, God’s Discipline, 67)
It may seem strange that the exhortation to love is followed immediately by a command to hate. But we should not be surprised. For love is not the blind sentiment it is traditionally said to be. On the contrary, it is discerning. It is so passionately devoted to the beloved object that it hates every evil which is incompatible with his or her highest welfare. In fact, both verbs are strong, almost vehement. Love’s “hatred” of evil (apostygeō, unique here in the NT) expresses an aversion, an abhorrence, even a “loathing” while love’s “clinging” to what is good (killaō) expresses a sticking or bonding as if with glue. (John Stott, Romans, God’s Good News for the World, 331)
How does one become capable of reacting like this to all evil? Again, it demands thought, and this is most important in all these matters. You will never “abhor evil” unless you have an understanding of the doctrine. Go back again to verse 1: “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God.” You may have recognized that certain things are bad and you may dislike them and feel a righteous indignation about them; you may even write letters to the newspapers about them. But if you are only a moralist and not a Christian, you will not be “abhorring” evil. There is only one thing that can ever make you “abhor that which is evil,” and that is a positive love for God. You will never understand the nature of evil until you understand something of the doctrine of the holiness of God, for evil is the opposite of that. And so you only realize what evil actually is when you see what it is in God’s universe. When you think of that holy God who made a perfect universe “and saw that it was good,” and when you think of this other thing that came in, then that makes you abhor it. (D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Romans Chapter 12, 343)
II. To really love we must cling to what is good (Prv 2:1-8; Rom 12:9; 1 Cor ch. 13; Eph 4:17-32; Col 3:12-14; Phil 4:4-9; 1 Thes 5:21-22; 1 Tm 6:10-11; Heb 1:9; 2 Pt 1:5-9)
Paul doesn’t present these two attitudes and life-styles with imperative verbs, urging “do this and don’t do that.” Rather, he uses present participles, adjectives that characterize our existence in continuous action. These describe God’s people as those who are “abhorring the evil; glued to the good.” Constant vigilance against evil is necessary; daily we renew our commitment to what is good. Our lives are constant processes of weeding out negative influences and clinging as tightly as we can to what is upbuilding. (Marva J. Dawn, Truly the Community: Romans 12, 153)
This command seems easy (to perform) but it is most difficult because of the emotions of hate, love, fear and hope. There is no one who can (truly) say that he abhors what is evil and cleaves to what is good. Still the apostle gives this command, and certainly with good reason; for man is inclined to what is evil and averse to what is good. His hypocrisy is increased by ignorance of what is good and evil. Everyone calls that good which pleases him, and that evil which displeases him. The Apostle therefore has in mind what is good and evil from the viewpoint of the new man. (Martin Luther, Commentary on Romans, 174)
“Genuine” Christian love, Paul is suggesting, is not a directionless emotion or something that can be only felt and not expressed. Love is not genuine when it leads a person to do something evil or to avoid doing what is right–as defined by God in his Word. Genuine love, “the real thing,” will lead the Christian to that “good” which is the result of the transformed heart and mind (v. 2). (Douglas J. Moo, The New International Commentary on the NT: Romans, 776)
III. To really love we must be devoted to one another in brotherly love (Prv 27:6; Jn 13:34-35; Rom 12:10; 2 Cor 6:3-13; Gal 6:1-2; Eph 4:2; Phil 2:1-11; 1 Thes 4:9-10; 2 Thes 1:3; 1 Pt 1:22; 2:17; 3:8; 4:8; 2 Pt 1:5-9; 1 Jn 2:9-11; chps 3 & 4; 5:1)
Heb 10:25 instructs us not to neglect the assembly of the saints. Instead, we are to gather and encourage one another more and more as we await Jesus’ return. The public assembly is meant for the edification, the building up, the growth of the Christian. Neglecting to participate in the corporate life of the church or failing to actively serve and be served is a sure-fire way to limit our growth. Eph 4:11-16 offers a pretty strong argument that participation in the body of Christ is the main way in which Christ strengthens and matures us. When we serve others in the church, bear with one another, love one another, correct one another, and encourage one another, we participate in a kind of “spiritual maturity co-op” where our stores and supplies are multiplied. The end result is growth and discipleship. (Thabiti M. Anyabwile, What is a Healthy Church Member?, 91)
Such courses as Parent Effectiveness Training have made me more aware of the destructiveness of not listening to those who are hurting. Our simple pat answers make the persons receiving the quick solution feel that they must be really stupid not to see the answer so clearly. However, life’s problems are not like that. They involve many complex factors that no one else can know except the person involved in them all. For an outsider to give a simple solution for another’s problem or a quick remedy for someone else’s pain is totally inappropriate. Such answers increase the pain intensely because then the one suffering has to struggle not only with the facts of the situation themselves but also with the loneliness of being terribly misunderstood. (Marva J. Dawn, Truly the Community: Romans 12, 123-24)
Part of the difficulty in today’s society, however, lies in the fact that people don’t know how to be friends and to express intimacy because they have not learned how to be affectionate in their families. Various factors contribute to that malaise–such as fathers and mothers working away from home much of the time, children involved in myriads of social activities, television creating an entertainment society in which interpersonal communication has been lost, and so forth. Sadly, part of the problem arises simply because we are afraid. Because we fear rejection, or abuse, or other perversions, we run away from affection altogether, often thereby creating the very perversions and rejections we fear. (Marva J. Dawn, Truly the Community: Romans 12, 163)
A simple formula to follow requires the reversal of the natural tendencies and the institution of the supernatural, as follows: “Concentrate on his good points and my bad points rather than on my good points and his bad points.” (D. Stuart Briscoe, Mastering the New Testament: Romans, 224)
How many people do you know that you would describe as being “devoted” to you? I know that I am devoted to my family and that I am ready to do all I can for them. But Paul is saying that there is a real sense in which our families now are larger. We are to have this brotherly and sisterly love and devotion to all those in the body of Christ. We need to devote ourselves not merely to our own family, but to our brothers and sisters in the faith. (RC Sproul, The Gospel of God: Romans, 202)
The Greek word for “be devoted” (philostorgoi) means the type of loyalty and affection that family members have for one another. This kind of love allows for weaknesses and imperfections, communicates, deals with problems, affirms others, and has a strong commitment and loyalty to others. Such a bond will hold any church together no matter what problems come from without or within. (Bruce B. Barton, Life Application Bible Commentary: Romans, 238-39)
It is well to note that no definition of love is given here. Someone has said, “There are times when definition is destruction. Whoever questioned the beauty of the sunset? But who can define it? The astronomer can give us the mathematics of it, and I doubt not that there is mathematics in the sunset, but there is no sunset glory in the mathematics. There is chemistry of colors, but there is no wistful healing light in that chemistry. Beauty defined is beauty destroyed.” And so here, God simply states that love is to take off every disguise and walk with heart bared for the world to see. It is a hard thing to do, for instinct warns us to protect ourselves and to keep the wounds away from our hearts. How easy it is to form a shell about one’s emotions and to withhold all that love might give, for fear of being hurt! Only when we recognize that the love of Christ will cast out all fear of being hurt, can we love as He wants us to love. (Donald Grey Barnhouse, God’s Discipline, 61)
To dwell above with saints we love . . . that will be glory
But to dwell below with saints we know . . . Well that is another story.
Intercession is also a daily service we owe to God and our brother. He who denies his neighbor the service of praying for him denies him the service of a Christian. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 86-87)
He who holds his tongue in check controls both mind and body (Jas 3:2 ff.). Thus it must be a decisive rule of every Christian fellowship that each individual is prohibited from saying much that occurs to him. This prohibition does not include the personal word of advice and guidance: on this point we shall speak later. But to speak about a brother covertly is forbidden, even under the cloak of help and good will; for it is precisely in this guise that the spirit of hatred among brothers always creeps in when it is seeking to create mischief. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 92)
To forego self-conceit and to associate with the lowly means, in all soberness and without mincing the matter, to consider oneself the greatest of sinners. This arouses all the resistance of the natural man, but also that of the self-confident Christian. It sounds like an exaggeration, like an untruth. Yet even Paul said of himself that he was the foremost of sinners (1 Tm 1:15); he said this specifically at the point where he was speaking of his service as an apostle. There can be no genuine acknowledgment of sin that does not lead to this extremity. If my sinfulness appears to me to be in any way smaller or less detestable in comparison with the sins of others, I am still not recognizing my sinfulness at all. My sin is of necessity the worst, the most grievous, the most reprehensible. Brotherly love will find any number of extenuations for the sins of others; only for my sin is there no apology whatsoever. Therefore my sin is the worst. He who would serve his brother in the fellowship must sink all the way down to these depths of humility. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 96)
“Never think that thou hast made any progress till thou look upon thyself as inferior to all” (Thomas á Kempis). (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 97)
The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 97)
C.S. Lewis confessed that he too struggled with how to truly love the sinner while hating the sin. One day it suddenly became clear: “It occurred to me that there was one man to whom I had been doing this all my life–namely myself. However much I might dislike my own cowardice or conceit or greed, I went on loving myself. There had never been the slightest difficulty about it. In fact, the very reason why I hated the things was that I loved the man. Just because I loved myself, I was sorry to find that I was the sort of man who did those things.” (Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage, 171)
IV. To really love we must honor others above ourselves (Mt 5:3, 5; 25:31-46; Lk 7:7-10; Rom 12:10; chps. 14 & 15; Eph 5:21; Phil 2:1-11)
Think how much our society is characterized by “machoism” or pushing oneself to be number one. The mark of intelligence in our society is expertise in putting others down and, consequently, in proving oneself to be the best of all. (Marva J. Dawn, Truly the Community: Romans 12, 173)
Love is a heart that moves…Love moves away from the self and toward the other. -Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III
Rom 12:10 challenges God’s people to be characterized by an absolute lack of pushiness to be number one and by an eagerness to give place so that others can be affirmed and find in themselves a deeper sense of worth. (Marva J. Dawn, Truly the Community: Romans 12, 174)
When so many of our neighbors in the world are starving, when so many are poor and oppressed, what does valuing others more highly than ourselves mean? Certainly it challenges us to sacrifice the luxury in our life-style in order that others might have enough. (Marva J. Dawn, Truly the Community: Romans 12, 175)
More than half the trouble that arises in Churches concerns rights and privileges and prestige. Someone has not been given his or her place; someone has been neglected or unthanked. The mark of the truly Christian man has always been humility. (William Barclay, The Daily Study Bible Series: Romans, 164)
Only he can be diligent with respect to others who is unconcerned about himself. (Martin Luther, Commentary on Romans, 173)
To love one another, to honor one another, to serve one another, to pray for one another, and to meet one another’s needs is the very heart of applied Christianity. (James Montgomery Boice, Romans, Vol. 4, The New Humanity, 1604)
A Christian knows that his own motives are not always pure and holy (1 Cor 11:28, 31). This is a kind of knowledge which at times causes him to utter the prayer, “O Lord, forgive my good deeds.” On the other hand, the Christian has no right to regard as evil the motives of his brothers and sisters in the Lord. Unless a consistently evil pattern is clearly evident in the lives of fellow-members, their outwardly good deeds must be ascribed to good, never to evil, motives. It follows that the child of God who has learned to know himself sufficiently so that at times he feels inclined to utter the cry of the publican (Lk 18:13) or of Paul (Rom 7:24) will indeed regard others to be better than himself. (William Hendriksen, New Testament Commentary: Romans, 415)
The Greek is somewhat obscure, but it seems to mean “prefer one another with honor” (cf. Phil 2:3, “consider others better than yourselves”). If our neighbor is one for whom Christ died, and if, as Mt 25:31-46 makes abundantly clear, the son of Man is mysteriously present in our neighbor (and especially in the needy neighbor), then our neighbor represents Christ to us and is worthy of greater honor than we show ourselves. This essential virtue became the masthead of the Rule of St. Benedict, namely, to receive all strangers as Christ. (James R. Edwards, New International Biblical Commentary: Romans, 293)
In his book Psychological Seduction, the Failure of Modern Psychology (p. 67), professor William K. Kilpatrick writes, “Extreme forms of mental illness are always extreme cases of self-absorption…The distinctive quality, the thing that literally sets paranoid people apart is hyper-self-consciousness. And the thing they prize most about themselves is autonomy. Their constant fear is that someone else is interfering with their will or trying to direct their lives.”
The greatest virtue of the Christian life is love. The use of agapē (love) was rare in pagan Greek literature, doubtless because the concept it represented–unselfish, self-giving, willful devotion–was so uncommon in that culture it was even ridiculed and despised as a sign of weakness. But in the NT it is proclaimed as the supreme virtue, the virtue under which all others are subsumed. Agapē love centers on the needs and welfare of the one loved and will pay whatever personal price is necessary to meet those needs and foster that welfare. (John MacArthur, The MacArthur New Testament Commentary: Romans 9-16, 183-84)
To honor is to show genuine appreciation and admiration for one another in the family of God. We are to be quick to show respect, quick to acknowledge the accomplishments of others, quick to demonstrate genuine love by not being jealous or envious, which have no part in love, whether agapē or philadelphia. (John MacArthur, The MacArthur New Testament Commentary: Romans 9-16, 189)
It is uncertain, however, whether the command is to “esteem others more highly than yourself” (REB, as in Phil 2:3) or whether an element of competition is implied and we should translate “outdo one another in showing honor” (RSV). In either case we are to accord to each other the highest possible honor. (John Stott, Romans, God’s Good News for the World, 331)
Paul is then calling on Christians to outdo each other in bestowing honor on one another; for example, to recognize and praise one another’s accomplishments and to defer to one another. (Douglas J. Moo, The New International Commentary on the NT: Romans, 778)
I find it interesting that when the believers were concerned about others’ needs they were in unity. As soon as they began to be concerned about their own needs there was division. Acts 6:1-7
The search for community in our Western postmodern world is, unquestionably, both real and pervasive. But just because people want community does not mean that their approaches to finding greater unity and purpose in relationships, or fulfilling important tasks together, will bring intimacy or any sense of real community. More specifically, in the evangelical Christian world, when the focus on community in team or small group life does not move beyond the wants, needs, or task fulfillment of the individual, it is extremely difficult to build a depth of lasting unity in relationships. Put simply, it is difficult to find the communion of the Holy Spirit when the spotlight is on the self. (Paul R. Ford, Knocking Over the Leadership Ladder, 34-35)
The desire for one’s own honor hinders faith. One who seeks his own honor is no longer seeking God and his neighbor. What does it matter if I suffer injustice? Would I not have deserved even worse punishment from God if He had not dealt with me according to His mercy? Is not justice done to me a thousand times even in injustice? Must it not be wholesome and conducive to humility for me to learn to bear such petty evils silently and patiently? “The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit” (Ecc 7:8). (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 95)
Anyone who thinks that his time is too valuable to spend keeping quiet will eventually have no time for God and his brother, but only for himself and for his own follies. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 98)
Nobody is too good for the meanest service. One who worries about the loss of time that such petty, outward acts of helpfulness entail is usually taking the importance of his own career too solemnly. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 99)
It is part of the discipline of humility that we must not spare our hand where it can perform a service and that we do not assume that our schedule is our own to manage, but allow it to be arranged by God. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 99)
The danger is always to compare ourselves with people whom we think have inferior gifts and qualities. But the thing to do is compare and contrast ourselves with the saints of the centuries, with the men and women depicted here in the NT, and, above all, with our blessed Lord Himself. What pygmies we are! What small creatures! This is the best antidote to this false feeling. It is the best way to encourage what the apostle inculcates in this phrase, “In honor preferring one another.” (D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Romans Chapter 12, 360)
CONCLUSION/APPLICATION: What can we do to facilitate sincere agape love?:
A- Realize the extent to which God has loved you (Ps 116:12; Jn 13:34-35; 15:12-13; Rom 5:8; 12:1; Eph 3:16-19; 5:2, 25; Col 3:12-14; 2 Thes 1:3; 1 Jn 3:16-19; 4:16-19)
“There but for the grace of God, go I,” said George Whitefield as he saw the criminal walk to the gallows. (William Barclay, The Daily Study Bible Series: Romans, 163)
If you do not believe in a God of wrath, but only in a god of love; then what did it cost for your god of love to really love you? When you understand the wrath of God, you better understand the love of God because you understand what God was willing to do for you because of Your Sin. — Tim Keller
A passage written by John Owen, one of the greatest Puritan scholars ever: “The person who understands the evil in his own heart is the only person who is useful, fruitful, and solid in his beliefs and obedience. Others only delude themselves and thus upset families, churches, and all other relationships. In their self-pride and judgment of others, they show great inconsistency.” (Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage, 64)
B- Look to the Law of God as a guide to and a retainer of sincere agape love (Mt 22:37-39; Mk 12:30-33; Jn 14:15, 21-23; 15:9-10; Rom 13:8-10; 1 Tm 1:3-7; 1 Jn 2:4-5; 5:2-3; 2 Jn 1:5-6; Jude 21-23; Rev 2:4)
Simply put, self-discipline is the willingness to subordinate personal desires and objectives to those that are selfless and divine, to subordinate that which is attractive and easy to that which is right and necessary. For the Christian, self-discipline is obedience to the Word of God, the willingness to subordinate everything in our lives–physical, emotional, social, intellectual, moral, and spiritual–to God’s will and control, and for God’s glory. (John MacArthur, The MacArthur New Testament Commentary: Romans 9-16, 180-81)
Love must never be contrasted with law. We are living in a lawless age. Its motto is, “Not law but love.” Today, people dislike the whole notion of law. But that is a fundamental fallacy. The apostle says in verse 8 of the next chapter that love fulfills the law. Or, as our Lord puts it, “Which is the first and the greatest commandment? Thou shalt love…” To put love and law up as contrasts is a failure to understand the basic and elementary teaching of the whole of the NT. And yet that is being done at the present time. (D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Romans Chapter 12, 338)
There is nothing more fatal than to think of love as something which is contrasted with law. (D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Romans Chapter 12, 338)
The Bible never merely asks for our mechanical obedience. Its teaching can be summed up in a phrase like this: “My son, give me thine heart” [Prv 23:26]. It is the heart that God wants. In other words, we are not only to keep God’s law, we are called upon, as we are reminded here, to love it. The psalmist could rise to that height; he said, “O how love I thy law!” [Ps 119:143]. That is what God wants and Paul is saying that in his own way here in the words: “Let love be without dissimulation.” This is what is to govern the whole of our behavior. It is the keeping of the commandments of God, and not only keeping them, but loving the law and loving to keep the law. (D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Romans Chapter 12, 339)
Christianity does not direct us to focus on finding the right person; it calls us to become the right person. (Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage, 236)
C- Realize the ineptitude of anything less than sincere agape love (Mt 5:46; Lk 6:32; 1 Cor 13; 16:14; 2 Cor 13:11; Col 3:12-14; 1 Pt 4:8; 2 Pt 1:5-9; 1 Jn 3:18)
When they’re willing to serve without regard for the response, then I know they’re beginning to move in the love of God. (Steve Sjogren, Conspiracy of Kindness, 115)
If we do not move in divine forgiveness, we will walk in much deception. We will presume we have discernment when, in truth, we are seeing through the veil of a critical spirit. We must know our weaknesses, for if we are blind to our sins, what we assume we discern in men will merely be the reflection of ourselves. Indeed, if we do not move in love, we will actually become a menace to the body of Christ (Mt 7:1-5). (Francis Frangipane, The Three Battlegrounds, 75)
A person does not reveal weakness or liability in such a manner in the early stages of a relationship, if at all. In fact, that commonly is the problem: we never get to admitting weaknesses that each of us bring to the team. And it is those weaknesses, not the projected strengths, which commonly create the problems that divide team members from one another.
I have found that the freedom to admit weaknesses and need to one another on a level playing field is one of the most important qualities of team life–and of real Christian community. We have known that admitting our sin and weakness to God is core to our respective personal relationships with God. But it is also a core part of healthy team life, essential for learning to value one another. In fact, through these team-building seminars I have discovered an amazing principle of life in the body of Christ.
God has designed each of us with great strengths to offer to one another. But God has also designed each one of us with intrinsic weakness–not sin, but rather areas where we are not as strong as others–so that we would need others. (Paul R. Ford, Knocking Over the Leadership Ladder, 45)
The move from independence to interdependence is our next strategic step. According to Peter Block, the move from self-interest to service is the critical step because it changes everything: “When we choose service over self-interest, we say we are willing to be deeply accountable without choosing to control the world around us.” Note that we are not using the word dependence here. The reason is simple: in the body of Christ, life together and ministry are the responsibility of everyone. All are to be stewards of their gifts and their relationships so that the full impact of the Spirit’s work in the world can take place. (Paul R. Ford, Knocking Over the Leadership Ladder, 147)
D- Plead with God to shed abroad in your heart the love of God by the Holy Spirit (Rom 5:5; Gal 5:22-23; Eph 3:16-19; Col 1:8; 1 Thes 3:12; 2 Thes 3:5; 1 Tm 1:14; 2 Tm 1:7)
The fact is, I need God to help me love God. And if I need His help to love Him, a perfect being, I definitely need His help to love other, fault-filled humans. Something mysterious, even supernatural must happen in order for genuine love for God to grow in our hearts. The Holy Spirit has to move in our lives. (Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 104)
Notice this paradox: God’s love is unknowable in its infinity, and yet we can know it because we actually become filled with it! Ephesians describes it in four dimensions (wide, long, high, and deep) even though we live in a three-dimensional world. This use of four terms carries us beyond the sphere of human experience into a love that transcends the natural. Thus, we know this love powerfully and supernaturally because we recognize it in ourselves and because, “together with all the saints,” we experience it Hilariously in community. (Marva J. Dawn, Truly the Community: Romans 12, 145)
The apostle hastens to say, “Let love be without dissimulation.” This means that we must not be playing a part, we must not be pretending. It means that we must not be hypocrites. We must be honest. It must be true love, not some kind of artificial product which simulates love. And here I think it is very important for us to realize that in this matter of love not only must we not deceive others, we must not even deceive ourselves. (D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Romans Chapter 12, 337)
Christian brotherhood is not an ideal which we must realize; it is rather a reality created by God in Christ in which we may participate. The more clearly we learn to recognize that the ground and strength and promise of all our fellowship is in Jesus Christ alone, the more serenely shall we think of our fellowship and pray and hope for it. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 30)
The Holy Spirit in us creates this love within us. We are told in Rom 5:5: “And hope maketh not ashamed, because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Romans Chapter 12, 342)
E- Know God. Look to Jesus. (Lk 6:35; 7:42-47; Jn 15:12-13; Rom 5:8; Eph 3:14-19; Phil 1:9-11; Col 1:4-5; 2 Thes 1:3; 2:9-10; Heb 12:1-3; 1 Jn ch 3 & 4)
By logical syllogism we deduce a very important fact. If a person is not loving, John says, he or she does not know God. How will that individual become more loving, then? Can we grow in love by trying to love more? No, our attempts to love will only end in more frustration and less love. The solution, John implies, is to know God better. This is so simple that we miss it all the time: our means for becoming more loving is to know God better. (Marva J. Dawn, Truly the Community: Romans 12, 146)
“He is our peace,” says Paul of Jesus Christ (Eph 2:14). Without Christ there is discord between God and man and between man and man. Christ became the Mediator and made peace with God and among men. Without Christ we should not know God, we could not call upon Him, nor come to Him. But without Christ we also would not know our brother, nor could we come to him. The way is blocked by our own ego. Christ opened up the way to God and to our brother. Now Christians can live with one another in peace; they can love and serve one another; they can become one. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 23-24)
F- God has given us the Body of Christ to lead us into love (Romans 12:1-13; 1 Cor chps 12-14; Eph 4:11-16; Heb 10:24-25)
“Kindred minds” means the minds of those who are spiritual kin–members of God’s new family on earth. So our devotion to one another is not to be a matter of liking but of life. The contemporary church will never have the power of the early church until today’s Christians love one another as a close-knit family. (James Montgomery Boice, Romans, Vol. 4, The New Humanity, 1599)
Worship point: When we begin to grasp Jesus’ incredible love for us; and see just how far short we fall of loving others as we have been loved; then we are presented with the opportunity to die to self and our own limited abilities to love as we should, and we can then submit to Christ and His Spirit so we might love as we are designed and commanded to love.
How often we have tried somehow to love somebody that we can’t stand! The harder we try to love, the more difficult it becomes. We get super-frustrated and angry at the other person for making love so difficult. All our human efforts to try to love others are bound to fail because the more we put ourselves under a performance principle, the more our failures make us feel guilty and cause us to love less. This is the corollary to the central message of God’s freeing love throughout the discourse of the book of Romans: that all human efforts, all performance principles, will only bring failure and despair. Only when we are set free from the demands of the law can we discover the Hilarity of living in love through faith. (Marva J. Dawn, Truly the Community: Romans 12, 145-45)
Central to our theology, then, is giving up our attempts to love. This does not imply a giving up of self-discipline. Much to the contrary, what I am suggesting demands greater self-discipline. However, we choose discipline freely as a response to God’s love. The Hilarity of God’s immense grace for us makes us want to grow to be more loving and to love without hypocrisy. (Marva J. Dawn, Truly the Community: Romans 12, 146)
Spiritual Challenge: Look to Jesus and see His great love for everyone: Disciples who abandoned him; enemies who spit on, beat on, and crucified Him; as well as everyone of us who have violated His Laws and treated with apathy and disinterest (at one time or another) the Gospel. It is only in view of God’s mercy that we can become living sacrifices that are holy and acceptable unto God. Look at the Law and Jesus’ commentary on the Law in the Sermon on the Mount and then realize God’s great mercy that He has extended to you, a law-breaking sinner.
It is all the grace of God–“But by the grace of God I am what I am” [1 Cor 15:10]. And the more spiritual you have become, and the more knowledge you have of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ and of the Holy Spirit, the more you will see your own sinfulness and the depth of evil that is in you. The trouble with people who do not see this and who have a high opinion of themselves is that they are ignorant of God and ignorant of God’s character and of His being. (D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Romans Chapter 12, 358)
Love does not stop loving because it is not loved in return or because it is deceived. Love hopes for the best, and it forgives not once or even seven times, but seventy times seven. Love is not even counting. (James Montgomery Boice, Romans, Vol. 4, The New Humanity, 1595)
Quotes to Note:
The serious Christian, set down for the first time in a Christian community, is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what Christian life together should be and to try to realize it. But God’s grace speedily shatters such dreams. Just as surely as God desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we are fortunate, with ourselves. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 26-27)
Although he rejected both the Bible and God, Julian Huxley correctly noted that “it doesn’t take much of a man to be a Christian, it just takes all of him.” Henry Drumond, a close friend of D. L. Moody, said, “The entrance fee to God’s Kingdom is nothing, but the annual dues are everything.” (John MacArthur, The MacArthur New Testament Commentary: Romans 9-16, 181)
The familiar proverb declares that love is blind, and up to a point it doubtless is. Most of us have benefitted by this blindness; someone has been persuaded that our modest abilities bear all the marks of genius, and has been willing, with even greater generosity, to draw a veil over our unquestioned failures and shortcomings. But it can be claimed with greater cogency that only love can really see. Certainly it has the power to discern potentialities which hard realism never perceives, and can bring to actuality the things which it detects while they are merely possibilities. This is continuously exemplified in the Gospels. Jesus had no illusions about many of the people with whom he dealt, but he had no doubt as to what they might become. Like others, he saw that Mary Magdalene was a woman wholly in the grasp of evil forces, but he detected in her what they missed–the makings of a saint. He recognized in Zacchaeus the brazenly successful publican whom everyone in Jericho knew, but he also saw a man to whom salvation might come. Love alone possesses the power of discerning what is good and what is evil because love alone has the secret of the necessary insight. So far from being naive and gullible, only love is free from the deceptions which mislead us in our judgments about men and movements. (Abingdon Press, The Interpreter’s Bible, Vol. IX, 587)
“Abiding in Christ means staying in touch with other parts of his body (Jn 15:7). Being in community with members of the body of Christ is essential to spiritual renewal.” (Richard Lovelace, Renewal as a Way of Life, 161)
Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. He will only do harm to himself and to the community. Alone you stood before God when he called you; alone you had to answer that call; alone you had to struggle and pray; and alone you will die and give an account to God. You cannot escape from yourself; for God has singled you out. It you refuse to be alone you are rejecting Christ’s call to you, and you can have no part in the community of those who are called. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 77)
Once men and women have really seen themselves as they are, as the result of the Fall and their own actions, once they have got to know something of the plague of their own hearts, they are humbled and nobody can say anything too bad about them. They can always say worse things about themselves than anybody else ever knows. They say, “Thank God, people do not know all the truth about me!” There is your starting point. (D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Romans Chapter 12, 359)
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