August 2, 2026
Ephesians 4:25-32
“Becoming a Church That Forgives”
Overview: Every church is made up of imperfect people, which means conflict and hurt are inevitable. The difference between a healthy church and an unhealthy one is not whether offenses occur, but how they are handled. Paul calls believers to put away bitterness and instead practice forgiveness, kindness, and grace toward one another, just as Christ has graciously forgiven us.
Memory Verse for the Week:
Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Background & Miscellaneous Insights:
- Ephesians 4:17-32 is all about our new identity in Christ and what it looks like to live in light of it. The first paragraph is the doctrinal section, explaining who we are (vv. 17-24). The second paragraph is practical, illustrating how we must now live, especially in our relationships with one another (vv. 25-32). (Tony Merida, Exalting Jesus in Ephesians, 108)
- 30 Paul’s reference to the Holy Spirit brings to mind Isaiah 63:10 and reminds believers that the Holy Spirit binds them together in the body. When believers quarrel and hurt one another, they distress the Spirit. Because the Holy Spirit controls and guides speech, praise, prophecy, and tongues, we offend him when we use them improperly. (See also Acts 7:51; 1 Thessalonians 4:8.) (Bruce Barton, Ephesians, 96)
- Like putting off the old self and replacing it with the new self, so believers put off falsehood and put on the willingness to speak the truth. This is a quote from Zechariah 8:16. This reference in the Septuagint (Greek version of the Old Testament) says speak the truth “to” (pros), while Paul said speak the truth “with” (meta). The change in focus lies in the following clause: for we are members of one another. Paul stressed our mutual responsibility. Because we are members of one another in Christ’s body, our words and actions must not be destructive to the body. (Bruce Barton, Ephesians, 94)
- 4:26. The exhortation to avoid sinning while angry is from Psalm 4:4; on the wickedness of those who hold anger overnight, cf. Hosea 7:6; the Essenes and some Greek philosophers also required that disputes be settled the same day. Learning to speak in the most helpful way (4:29) was also stressed. (Craig S. Keener, The IVP Bible Background Commentary: New Testament, 287)
Big Idea:
The church Hillsdale needs is a church marked by grace; forgiving much because we’ve been forgiven much.
(Ps. 103:8–14; Prov. 19:11; Matt. 6:12–15; 18:21–35; Rom. 15:7; Col. 3:12–14; 1 Pet. 4:8)
What marks a church shaped by biblical forgiveness?
- A church shaped by biblical forgiveness handles conflict biblically.
(vv. 25-27; cf. Prov. 15:18; Matt. 5:23–24; 18:15–17; 1 Cor. 6:1–8; Gal. 6:1; Col. 3:13)
We must take the initiative to restore peace. Jesus taught that it makes no difference whether you have wronged your brother or he has wronged you. Either way, you are always responsible to initiate efforts toward peace (see Matthew 5:23-24 and 18:15). If we are serious about intently pursuing peace, we won’t be concerned about which of us is the offending party. We will have one goal: To restore peace in a godly manner. (Jerry Bridges, The Practice of Godliness, 164)
- A church shaped by biblical forgiveness uses words carefully to build, not destroy.
(vv. 28-31; cf. Prov. 10:19; 12:18; 15:4; Luke 6:45; Col. 4:6; Jas. 1:19; 3:9–10)
Not only should our speech be kept clean and truthful, but we should also speak only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. We must be sensitive to the situation and the needs of anyone with whom we converse, and we must be wise in choosing our words, for even good words, unless used appropriately, can be destructive instead of useful. (Bruce Barton, Ephesians, 95)
- A church shaped by biblical forgiveness reflects the grace of Christ.
(vv. 31-32; cf. Eph. 5:1–2; Phil. 2:1–8; Col. 3:12–14; 1 John 3:16–18; 1 John 4:7–12)
The Gospel is a message of forgiveness: it could not be otherwise, because it is the Gospel of God, and God is a forgiving God… It is to be expected, then, that those who receive the forgiveness which God holds out in the Gospel, those who call Him their Father, will display something of His character and show a forgiving attitude toward others. (F. F. Bruce, Hard Sayings of Jesus, 78)
How do we cultivate this kind of culture?
- Be slow to take offense, and refuse to let offenses linger.
(Prov. 12:16;17:9; 19:11; Eccl. 7:9; Matt. 18:15; Rom. 12:18; Heb. 12:15; Jas. 1:19–20)
The person who is living by grace sees this vast contrast between his own sins against God and the offenses of others against him. He forgives others because he himself has been so graciously forgiven. He realizes that, by receiving God’s forgiveness through Christ, he has forfeited the right to be offended when others hurt him. (Jerry Bridges, Transforming Grace, 44)
- Leave others stronger than you found them.
(Prov. 12:25; 16:24; Rom. 14:19; 15:1–2; 1 Cor. 14:26; Eph. 4:15; Phil. 2:3–4; 1 Thess. 5:11)
The Christian life involves the constant encouragement of others. If your disposition is cynical and critical and there is no warmth and encouragement, you will not be a good leader—in your job, in your family, or in a church (small group or large). (Tony Merida, Ephesians, 117)
Paul told us to speak in such a way that what we say will build up our hearers, and not tear them down. Our words should minister grace and help to draw others closer to Christ. Satan, of course, encourages speech that will tear people down and destroy the work of Christ. If you need to be reminded of the power of the tongue, read the third chapter of James. (Warren Wiersbe, Be Rich: Ephesians, 108)
- Make grace our first response, not our last resort.
(Matt. 5:7; Luke 6:35–36; Rom. 12:17–21; Col. 3:12–14; Titus 3:3–7; Heb. 4:16; Jas. 2:13)
If Jesus can forgive us, then there is nothing for which we should not forgive another person. Should there be consequences for actions? Sure. But we must be forgiving people. Jesus taught us to dwell on how He forgave our infinite debt and then to be quick to forgive others when they sin against us (Matt 6:12,14-15; 18:21-35; Luke 6:36). (Tony Merida, Ephesians, 118)
The grace we receive in forgiveness gives the grace to be forgiving. (Philip Graham Ryken, When You Pray, 135)
Gospel Connection:
By God’s grace, we’ve been forgiven in Christ, and now we’re free to forgive others.
(Isa. 53:4–6; Rom. 3:23–26; 5:6–11; 2 Cor. 5:21; Eph. 1:7; Col. 2:13–14; 1 John 1:9)
God does not forgive us because we forgive others, but solely because of his great mercy. As we come to understand his mercy, however, we will want to be like him. Having received forgiveness, we will pass it on to others. (Bruce Barton, Ephesians, 98)
Spiritual Challenge Questions…
Reflect on these questions during your time with the Lord this week, or discuss with your friends, family, or Life Group.
- When you hear the phrase “a church marked by grace,” what comes to mind? What would that actually look like in everyday church life?
- Conflict is inevitable in every church. In your experience, what is the difference between handling conflict biblically and handling it worldly?
- Verse 29 tells us to use our words to build others up. Can you think of a time when someone’s words strengthened your faith or encouraged you? What made them so impactful?
- Paul tells us to “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Why is remembering God’s forgiveness essential if we’re going to forgive others?
- What are some practical ways we can “leave others stronger than we found them” during a typical Sunday morning or throughout the week?
- How would our church change if grace truly became our first response instead of our last resort? What would visitors, guests, and newer believers notice?