“The Wisdom of Obedience” – Ephesians 6:1-9

January 8, 2023

Ephesians 6:1-9

“The Wisdom of Obedience”

Service Overview: If there’s a four-letter-word, treated as one of those “4-letter-words”, that isn’t one of “those” four letter words, but is still technically a four-letter-word… it’s OBEY (confused yet?). Our rugged individualism hates it, but God’s Word calls for it. And when done with the worldview of Christ in mind, there can be a wealth of benefit attached to it.

 

Memory Verse for the Week:

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

 

Background Insights:

• The situation Paul addressed was not like slavery in American history. It was complex and massive in scope. American slavery was primarily racial and lifelong. In Paul’s day it was not racial, and it was not always lifelong. There were some similarities but it was different. (Tony Merida, Exalting Jesus in Ephesians, 165)
• [Slaves] did not merely do menial work; they did nearly all the work, including oversight and management and most professions. Some slaves were more educated than their owners. They could own property, even slaves, and were allowed to save money to buy freedom. No slave class existed, for slaves were present in all but the highest of economic and social strata. Many gained freedom by age thirty. (Snodgrass, Ephesians, 327)
• The Greek word for obey, hupakouete, is used by Paul to describe what a child’s response to parents should be. It is a compound word which literally means “to come under hearing or under one’s voice.” It paints a picture of a person submitting to a voice of authority. (Mark A. Holmes, Ephesians, Kindle Location 3279)
• Because many slaves and owners had become Christians, the early church had to deal straightforwardly with the question of master-slave relations. Masters and slaves had to learn how to live together in Christian households. They were to be treated equally in the church. In Paul’s day, women, children, and slaves had few rights. In the church, however, they had freedoms that society denied them. (Bruce Barton, Life Application Bible Commentary: Ephesians, 124)
• It has been estimated that there were some 60,000,000 slaves in the Roman Empire and that as many as one third of the population of large cities such as Rome, Corinth, and Ephesus were slaves. (R. Kent Hughes, Preaching the Word: Ephesians, 230)
• The fact that Paul mentions children in such an important letter demonstrates the value the early church placed on children. Leon Morris points out that it is significant that Paul wrote “children” not just “boys” (Expository Reflections, 192). Snodgrass says, “Girls were valued less in ancient society, but Paul did not accept such a limitation” (Ephesians, 322).

 

What values are important to note in light of what Paul is saying here?

1. The value of children, and the gravity of their upbringing.

(vv. 1-4 | Ex. 20:12; Deut. 6:7; Ps. 127:3-5; Prov. 1:8-9; 22:6; 29:15; Matt. 18:10; Mark 10:13-16; Col. 3:20-21)

Paul commands, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, and Fathers, do not exasperate your children (Eph. 6:1a, 4a). Fathers are to train and instruct their children in ways so as not to turn them away in anger and frustration. (Mark A. Holmes, Ephesians, Kindle Location 3279)

Sometimes it is necessary, when correcting a child, to endure the child’s displeasure. A parent should not fear that reaction. Rather, he or she should fear overcorrection. To avoid that result, the parent should be prayerful and attuned to the ministry of the Spirit who will give grace and wisdom as needed. (Willard H. Taylor, Beacon Bible Expositions, Volume 8, 204)

 

2. The value of work done wholeheartedly.

(vv. 5-8 | Genesis 2:15; 1 Corinthians 10:31; Colossians 3:22-24; 2 Thessalonians 3:10)

Paul basically urged servants to transfer masters, even if they could not transfer jobs. (Tony Merida, Exalting Jesus in Ephesians, 171)

God will reward even the meanest drudgery done from a sense of duty, and with a view to glorify him. (Matthew Henry, Concise Commentary on the Whole Bible, 1291)

The conviction of the Christian workman is that every single piece of work he produces must be good enough to show to God. (William Barclay, Galatians-Ephesians, 215)

 

3. The value of kindness to those under authority.

(v. 9 | Mat. 23:11-12; Luke 22:24-26; Rom. 13:1; Heb. 13:17; Titus 3:1; 1 Peter 2:13)

Neither Paul nor other biblical writers endorse slavery; they undermine it. Slavery slowly died out in antiquity because of the influence of Christianity. There were slaves in the Ephesian congregation, but they were not second-class members. They were brothers and sisters, called to unity in Christ (2:11-22; 4:1-6). Paul considers the existing structure and provides some gospel-centered instruction to both slaves and masters that we should consider carefully now. (Tony Merida, Exalting Jesus in Ephesians, 170)

Paul’s instructions to the master speak as well to employers today. Our treatment should be fair and humane. We dare not trade off humanity for productivity. No person is of such insignificance that he or she should be sacrificed by poor conditions or unfair practices. How a Christian employer treats his or her employees should exemplify one’s love for Christ. (Mark A. Holmes, Ephesians, Kindle Location 3432)

 

Conclusion… as Jesus’ followers, how do these values intersect our lives today?

A. If anyone is under your authority treat them fairly.

(Ps. 106:3; Prov. 31:9; Micah 6:8; Rom. 2:11; Galatians 3:28; Colossians 4:1; James 2:1-5)

According to [the Bible], a leader is first and foremost a servant. His concern is not for himself; his concern is not to give orders, to boss other people around, to have his own way. His concern is to meet the needs of others. (Wayne Mack, Strengthening Your Marriage, 33)

God isn’t impressed in the least by job title, bank account, or standing in the community. God is searching for a servant’s heart. (Luis Palau, Heart after God, 62)

 

B. Whatever you happen to do for work, work as if you were serving Jesus, because you are.

(Genesis 2:15; 1 Corinthians 10:31; Ephesians 4:28; Colossians 3:23; 1 Thessalonians 4:11)

Twentieth-century man needs to be reminded at times that work is not the result of the Fall. Man was made to work, because the God who made him was a “working God.” Man was made to be creative, with his mind and his hands. Work is part of the dignity of his existence. (Sinclair Ferguson, A Heart for God, 31)

This text shows us that we need to see Christ as the ultimate boss for whom we labor. Your job may stink, but the good news is you can transfer masters without transferring jobs. I do not mean that you will never have to transfer actual jobs but that in whatever job you have, the most important thing to know is that your Master is the Lord Jesus! (Tony Merida, Exalting Jesus in Ephesians, 163)

 

C. Love your kids enough to do hard things and to help them grow to love the best things.

(Deut. 6:6-9; Psalm 127:3; Proverbs 22:6; Proverbs 29:17; Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21)

There is no more important job in the universe than to raise a child to love God, live productively, and serve humanity. (James Dobson, Life on the Edge, 75)

Fatherhood may be the most frightening job in the world but it is also the most important and most rewarding job a man can tackle. (Josh McDowell, The Father Connection, 8)

The realization that we have only a brief time to raise our children gives us huge motivation to make the most of it and makes Scriptural advice about raising children pulse with importance. (Hughes, Ephesians, 224)

Perhaps the greatest cause of an exasperated child is inconsistency—“Do as I say, not as I do.” Our best means of learning is by following an example. (Mark A. Holmes, Ephesians, Kindle Location 3315)

Gospel Application…

Jesus died to make people free, and in doing so, made them one in him.

(v. 9 | Prov. 22:2; Mark 12:31; Rom. 2:11; 1 Cor. 7:20-24; Gal. 3:28; Colossians 3:22–4:1)

Paul neither condemned nor condoned slavery in these words. On one hand, Paul was not interested in starting a revolutionary movement to attempt to destroy the sanctions of the Roman Empire. On the other hand, Paul was starting a revolutionary movement, although he was not a political organizer. Paul’s revolutionary zeal was developed in the context of the church, where selflessness and love constituted new relationships based not on power but on mutual affirmation. (Bruce Barton, Life Application Bible Commentary: Ephesians, 124)

 

Spiritual Challenge Questions…

Reflect on these questions in your time with the Lord this week, or discuss with a Christian family member or Life Group.

• What does this passage teach about honoring parents? Taking into account the personalities of your children, what would be the best way to teach these principles to them?
• What does it mean for young children to honor their parents? What about adult children?
• How easy or difficult is it for you to obey someone in authority over you? Why?
• What can parents do to avoid having their authority undermined?
• How can parent nurture and instruct their children instead of provoking them to wrath? Give some examples.
• How should Paul’s view of work impact ours? What are some differences between slavery in Paul’s context and American slavery?
• Why should Christians oppose slavery? How does Paul undermine slavery?

 

 

 

Quotes to note…

The brandishing of authority for its own sake shows that the parent fails to recognize that the authority is given for the benefit of the child.  Such assertion of authority often leads to the establishment of foolish and overly rigid rules.  If “His commandments are not grievous” (1 John 5:3), why should ours be? (Jay Adams, Christian Living in the Home, 114)

Above all, we [as parents] must make sure that the open book of our lives – our example – demonstrates the reality of our instruction, for in watching us they will learn the most. (Kent Hughes, Disciplines of a Godly Man, 53)

The goal of parenting is to work ourselves out of a job. The goal of parenting is to raise children who were once totally dependent on us to be independent, mature people who, with reliance on God and proper connectedness to the Christian community, are able to stand on their own two feet. (Paul David Tripp, Age of Opportunity, 36-37)

In God’s ordering of the family, He has placed parents in authority over children because the young need the wisdom, guidance, and protection only loving fathers and mothers can provide. The Christian home is meant to be a school for life lessons. (Charles R. Swindoll, Swindoll’s Living Insights: Galatians & Ephesians, 346)

We would not be surprised if the apostle Paul took a whole chapter, or even an entire epistle, to outline the responsibilities of parents. Instead, he summarized all of parenting in a single verse, and he was able to do so because the task is so highly defined. “Bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (John MacArthur, Successful Christian Parenting, 44)

Just as the preaching of Wesley and Whitefield resulted in the abolition of slavery and child labor, the elevation of women, and the care of the needy, so Paul’s ministry contributed to the death of slavery and the encouragement of freedom. However, he was careful not to confuse the social system with the spiritual order in the church (1 Cor. 7:20–24). (Warren Wiersbe, Be Rich: Ephesians, 142)

We must reject our well-meaning but misguided spiritual determinism. As it turns out, it doesn’t all depend on us. The Bible is full of examples of spiritual giants producing rascally children and noble kin coming from polluted loins. While the proverbial wisdom of Scripture (Prov. 22:6) and the promises of the covenant (Gen. 17:7) tell us that good Christian parents and good Christian children normally go together, we must concede that God is sovereign (Rom. 9:6– 18), salvation is a gift (Eph. 2: – 9), and the wind of the Spirit blows where it wishes (John 3:8). (Kevin DeYoung, Crazy Busy, 71)

The first picture of God children receive is from their parents. They will get a sense of authority, love, and protection from their parents. As they see and treasure this example, it will inevitably point them away from the parents to the ultimate Father. Even when you fail to reflect God before your children, you should teach them how to repent and receive grace from God. (Tony Merida, Exalting Jesus in Ephesians, 150)